So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
