He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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