I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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