Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
