its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
