Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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