So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
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She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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