Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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