Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My ass is underappreciated
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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