Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
