i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
