grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
