did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
