It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
