do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
