mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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