Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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