your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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