she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
how drunk are you?
Several
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize