Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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