Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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