He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
