I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
