would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
