Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
