I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize