I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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