4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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