Non-Jews are for practice
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
