found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
