I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
