So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sobbing to NWA
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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