john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
