i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
