all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
