His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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