Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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