Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
