Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
