I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize