remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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