Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize