i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
