arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
