My first STD was from a foam party
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
