I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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