A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
