why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm at about main and main street
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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