They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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