But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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