you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I smell like Dick and happiness
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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