david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
