one two three fourrrrnication!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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