my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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