Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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