whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
