I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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