How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize