If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
